annie's Devotionals

In the Middle of the Night

And Lord, bless us, bless us indeed. Enlarge our territory. Enlarge our sphere of influence as well as our physical territory I pray, and that your hand might be with us, and that you would keep us from evil, that it not be to our sorrow! God granted us that which we requested.

It’s in the middle of the night
When the fears come and the tears flow
And I wonder what will become of us
What will we do, where will we go.

I’m trying to trust you, Lord
Trying to have hope
But it sometimes is so hard
In the middle of the night
In the midst of the storm

Help me to trust you even when it is impossible
Even when I’m scared and feel you’ve left me alone
I don’t like this desert place
This place of unknowing, not hearing your voice
If I just knew how long, or where we’ll be
If just a little ways further I could see

I know what you have planned for us is good
I know you want what is best for me
I know you are in control even though it feels like the economy is
and our circumstances are what rules us now
That’s what is directing our path…or so it seems

You said the steps of a righteous man are ordered by the Lord
I don’t feel righteous
My flaws stand out more
Like a teenager with a zit on her face
That’s all she sees

I see my flaws, my failings, my weaknesses
And I don’t like what I see
I thought I had faith
I thought I knew how to trust you
But I don’t…at least not now in the middle of the night

I’m learning to tell my soul to not be downcast within me
To trust and hope in you
I’m learning to tell my soul to praise you
To worship you even though my heart is dead
When the feelings are stripped away
When all my wealth is gone
When you’ve taken everything away that you’ve given me
I will still tell my soul to hope in you
Because in the middle of the night
You are all that I have

I lay bare before you, my soul exposed
There is no one to impress
You see it all
When the music has stopped
The world is hushed
You are all that is left to cling to
When the sun is gone and even the moon and stars hide their light
You are what I need to see
In the middle of the night

In the middle of the night I cry out to you
How long oh Lord
How long will you leave me here
Scared, downcast, alone
How long before you come and rescue me
How long before morning breaks through this night
And shines upon me again

Shine down on me with mercy and grace
Give me enough light to see your face
Touch this deadened heart and make it alive again
Though I can’t see you, feel you, hear you
I tell my soul to have hope in you
You are my hope
In you will I trust

This was written sometime in 2003 while Tim was out of work and we lost our home, etc. But to add a footnote to this, God brought us through. Our church helped, some great people and family helped. And now, after five years not being in his field, Tim has the best job ever. He had tried getting a position there before we moved to Idaho, but they had a hiring freeze, which later all the other electronics places began laying people off like Tim, and had hiring freezes, too. But one day last year, our of frustration with the work he was doing, he called his friend there and found out they had just lost an engineer, so there was a position for him. He loves his work and the people he works with. God is good, and he does come through. And now we are living close to our daughter and family again, and we are satisfied.

(Note) At the time I began praying this prayer, right before my heart attack and then open heart surgery, we were doing very well financially and so I didn't feel right praying for God to enlarge our territory. So that's why I changed it to "our sphere of influence", meaning those we could minister to and lives we could touch and help for the Lord. Of course, later I began adding the 'territory' since we lost ours. But it's okay, and I know he is still guiding our lives even if I don't always feel like it.

 

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